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Christmas 11/19/2016 The first day after Christmas My true love and I had a fight And so I chopped the pear tree down And burnt it, just for spite Then with a single cartridge I shot that blasted partridge My true love, 0 Comments, 14 Views, 0 Votes | |
Simplifying Simple 12/3/2015 >> Simplifying Simple I have a 440 - page guide on how to simplify my life, but I have not found the time to read it. Like you perhaps, my once - quiet world now clatters with the joy of a large 0 Comments, 4 Views, 0 Votes | |
Wait For The Brick 12/3/2015 >>> Wait For The Brick A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for darting out from between parked cars 0 Comments, 40 Views, 0 Votes | |
Test 12/3/2015 It was the night before finals, And all through the college, The students were praying For last minute knowledge. Most were quite sleepy, But none touched their beds, While visions of essays Danced i 0 Comments, 16 Views, 0 Votes | |
Itish Men Declare War 12/3/2015 Irish man declares war Saddam Hussein is sitting at home when the phone rings. He picks it up and says "Hello". The voice at the end of the phone says "Hello Mr. Hussein, it is Paddy here. I am ju 0 Comments, 84 Views, 0 Votes | |
Hospital Blues 12/3/2015 A woman called Mount Sainai Hospital. She said "Mount Sainai Hospital? hello, darling. I would like to talk with the person who gives the information about the patients. But I do not want to know if t 0 Comments, 75 Views, 0 Votes | |
Illegal Lawyer 1/3/2015 For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he did finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's . Looking forward to an exciting few da 0 Comments, 219 Views, 0 Votes | |
How Can Anyone Thank ! ! 1/3/2015 How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles. "My dear woman, " Darrow replied, "ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only o 0 Comments, 93 Views, 0 Votes | |
Likeable Way Of Thinking 1/3/2015 Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question. "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many w 0 Comments, 155 Views, 0 Votes | |
Turtle Being Fishy 1/1/2015 A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb. About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked long to the end. He turned and spread all 0 Comments, 137 Views, 0 Votes | |
Absent Minded Professor 1/1/2015 There Was This Professor Who Kicked His Wife And Kissed The Door Shut While Going To Work ! ! ! ! 0 Comments, 55 Views, 0 Votes | |
Professor Proposal 1/1/2015 Professor at one of the I I M's was explaining marketing concepts to the Students:- 1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" – That is Direct M 0 Comments, 123 Views, 0 Votes | |
God's Gift 1/1/2015 God gave His 2, 000 years ago to die on the cross. Much like the auctioneer, His message today is: "The , the , who will take the ?" ... Because, you see, whoever takes the gets everything. For God 0 Comments, 57 Views, 0 Votes | |
Nail In The Fence 1/1/2015 Nail In The Fence : Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence. (Most importantly the last sentence) : There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of 0 Comments, 93 Views, 0 Votes | |
Love Affairs 1/1/2015 Love I love you, Not only for what you are, But for what I am When I am with you. I love you, Not only for what You have made of yourself, But for what You are making of me. I love you For the part of 0 Comments, 42 Views, 0 Votes | |
Old Age Cathing Up 1/1/2015 I keep my paint brush with me Wherever I may go, In case I need to cover up So the real me does not show. I am so afraid to show you me, Afraid of what you will do - that You might laugh or say mean t 0 Comments, 12 Views, 0 Votes | |
Nothing Wrong 1/1/2015 -- There is nothing the matter with me, I am just as healthy as can be, I have arthritis in both knees, And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze. My pulse is weak, my blood is thin, But I am awfully well 0 Comments, 34 Views, 0 Votes | |
God's Gift 1/1/2015 God gave His 2, 000 years ago to die on the cross. Much like the auctioneer, His message today is: "The , the , who will take the ?" ... Because, you see, whoever takes the gets everything. For God 0 Comments, 9 Views, 0 Votes | |
Of A Gun 1/1/2015 MY ... Take my A wealthy man and his loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great w 0 Comments, 56 Views, 0 Votes | |
John In High But :... :- 1/1/2015 John got off the elevator on the 50th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date's door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said. "I will be ready in a few minutes, " s 0 Comments, 64 Views, 0 Votes | |
John In High But :... :- 1/1/2015 John got off the elevator on the 50th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date's door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said. "I will be ready in a few minutes, " s 0 Comments, 28 Views, 0 Votes | |
Award 1/1/2015 It is once again time to vote for-the Darwin Award nominees for 1997. As you may already know, the Darwin Awards are for those nominees who will not be contributing to the gene pool (thankfully). Nomi 0 Comments, 34 Views, 0 Votes | |
Golf 1/1/2015 Golf Nice lag" can usually be translated to "lousy putt." Similarly, "tough break" can usually be translated "way to miss an easy one, sucker." 0 Comments, 17 Views, 0 Votes | |
Engineer' Recipe For Chocolate 1/1/2015 Engineer’s recipe Chocolate Chip Cookies: Ingredients:1. 532.35 cm3 gluten 2. 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3 3. 4.9 cm3 refined halite 4. 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride 5. 177.45 cm3 crystalli 0 Comments, 19 Views, 0 Votes | |
Out Looting 1/1/2015 We are not in cause we are out LOOTING! Leave a message and we will call you back and tell you what we got. 0 Comments, 5 Views, 0 Votes | |
Smart 1/1/2015 A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a with a basket in its jaws comes pushing through the door. "An' wot's this then?" he asked. The knocks the basket sharply into the but 0 Comments, 75 Views, 0 Votes | |
Something Fishy ! 1/1/2015 Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet. As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake, a carp came along and snatched up the wallet. Soon came another 0 Comments, 31 Views, 0 Votes | |
aeroplanes 1/1/2015 Here are some basic descriptions of what may happen if aeroplanes had different operating systems running them. DOS: Everybody pushes it till it glides, then jumps on and lets it coast till it skids, 0 Comments, 21 Views, 0 Votes | |
Actual Cat Story 1/1/2015 This is an actual account by a worker at a technical support and service center. One particular customer had an old console-type machine with a print head that would ride back and forth on a spiral sh 0 Comments, 45 Views, 0 Votes | |
X'Mas Bugs ! ! ! 1/1/2015 >>> 12 bugs of Christmas For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me See if they can do it again. For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me Ask them how they did it and See 0 Comments, 19 Views, 0 Votes |
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