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Laught dduring sex 5/26/2016
Hi guys and gals!
I in most cases love joking and making fun during sex. But
I know it may be irritating for most of the people. How would
you respond to a partner who laughs and tries to make jokes
during sex: insist on being serious or have fun together?
0 Comments, 9 Views,
0 Votes
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The Sneeze 5/23/2016
A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first
class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out
a tissue, gently wiped her nose, and then visibly shuddered
for ten or fifteen seconds. The man went back to reading
his book. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again,
took a tissue, wiped her nose, and then shuddered violently
once more. Although assuming the woman might ...
0 Comments, 111 Views,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score |
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HISTORY OF THE FAMOUS MIDDLE FINGER 5/23/2016
Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating
victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle
finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle
finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English
longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting
in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the
native English Yew tree, and the act of ...
1 Comments, 95 Views,
4 Votes
,5.19 Score |
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The New Three Bears 5/21/2016
Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair.
He looks into his big bowl and it is empty. 'Who's
been eating my porridge?' he roars.
Mama Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the
kitchen and yells, 'For God's sake, how many times
do I have to go through this with you idiots? It was Mama Bear
who got up first. It was Mama Bear who woke everyone in the
house. ...
0 Comments, 123 Views,
9 Votes
,6.42 Score |
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poor bubba!!! 5/20/2016
Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist
asked him what he had.
Bubba said, "Shingles."
So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance
number and told him to have a seat.
Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aid came out and asked
Bubba what he had. Bubba said, "Shingles."
So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical
history ...
1 Comments, 95 Views,
12 Votes
,5.45 Score |
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Outstanding Ears 5/20/2016
A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment,
all of his own. He went proudly down to the lobby to put his
name on his mailbox. While there, a stunning young lady
came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing
only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started
up a conversation with him, as they talked, her robe slipped
open, and it was obvious that she had ...
1 Comments, 111 Views,
11 Votes
,6.35 Score |
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Choo Choo 5/18/2016
How does a train eat? Chew chew.
1 Comments, 8 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score |
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( . ) ( . ) 5/18/2016
What kind of bees make milk? Boobies.
0 Comments, 5 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score |
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:) 5/18/2016
I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then
it hit me.
0 Comments, 9 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score |
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Pre-historic Joke 5/18/2016
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
0 Comments, 2 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score |
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Let's Laugh Some More 5/18/2016
I'm really good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know Y.
0 Comments, 6 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score |
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Are you ready to laugh? 5/18/2016
What sound does a doorbell make when a gorilla rings it?
King kong.. king kong..
0 Comments, 5 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score |
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A $500 Porsche 5/16/2016
A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye. It loudly
announced, "$500 Porsche! New!" The man thought
that it was very unusual to sell a Porsche for $500, and he
thought it might be a joke, but he said to himself, "It's
worth a shot."
So he went to the lady's house who was selling the Porsche
and she led him into the garage. Sure enough, there was an
almost brand new Porsche. ...
3 Comments, 114 Views,
14 Votes
,3.46 Score |
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Colt .45 5/10/2016
A guy walked into a bar waving his unholstered pistol and
yelled....
I have a .45 Colt with an 8 shot clip and I want to know who's
Fucking my wife... A voice from the back of the room called out.....
You don't have enough ammo!!!
0 Comments, 61 Views,
8 Votes
,3.01 Score |
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Corny jokes 5/9/2016
What time is it when you need to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie
0 Comments, 10 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score |
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Corny jokes 5/9/2016
What time is it when you need to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie
0 Comments, 3 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score |
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which hole? 5/9/2016
A man went to a strange town to be the guest speaker at a business
meeting. When he arrived at his Motel, he found he had a lot
of time before the meeting so he got the directions for a
nearby golf course from the clerk. While playing on the front nine, he thought over his impending
speech and became confused as to where he was on the course.
Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. ...
3 Comments, 117 Views,
19 Votes
,6.29 Score |
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Keys 5/8/2016
They weren't in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must
have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the
parking lot.
My boyfriend has scolded me many times for leaving my keys
in the car's ignition. He's afraid that the car
could be stolen. As I looked around the parking lot, I realized
he was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately called
the police. I gave them my ...
2 Comments, 131 Views,
13 Votes
,5.66 Score |
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labels!!! 5/7/2016
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed
through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions
on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's
the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Frito's:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use ...
1 Comments, 61 Views,
7 Votes
,4.31 Score |
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Head Nurse 5/7/2016
How can you tell which is the head nurse? The one with the
dirty knees.
2 Comments, 31 Views,
7 Votes
,3.04 Score |
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Teacher and Student 5/7/2016
Teacher: "What is the chemical formula for water?"
Student: "HIJKLMNO." Teacher: "What are you talking about?" Student: "Yesterday you said it's H to O!
0 Comments, 36 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score |
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2 kinds of people 5/7/2016
There are two kinds of people. Those who wake up in the morning
and say, "Good morning, Lord, " and those who
wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's
morning.
0 Comments, 15 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score |
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Whistle 5/7/2016
What can a bird do that a man can't?
Whistle through his pecker.....
Go ahead laugh
0 Comments, 14 Views,
4 Votes
,5.19 Score |
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Prince 5/4/2016
Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating
ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in
a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the
princess's lap and said, "Elegant lady, I was
once a handsome prince until an evil witch cast a spell upon
me. One kiss from you, however, and I will ...
2 Comments, 95 Views,
9 Votes
,6.20 Score |
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Basic Misunderstanding 5/2/2016
“I can't believe that you've been visiting
prostitutes for sex, " screamed his wife. "I'm really disappointed in you."
"You can hardly blame me, " he answered. "It's not like I was getting any sex from you.”
"Well that's your fault, " she replied.
“You never told me you were willing to pay for it.”
0 Comments, 56 Views,
7 Votes
,3.55 Score |
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Which Came First 5/1/2016
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning
against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied
smile on it's face.
The egg, looking very hacked off, grabs the quilt, rolls
over and says, "Well, we finally answered THAT question!"
1 Comments, 32 Views,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score |
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All's Well 4/30/2016
Donald Trump was walking along the beach when he came across
a muslim and a mexican. Words were exchanged which quickly
became physical. In the scuffle a genie bottle was dislodged
from the sand. They all saw it and all three started rubbing
it . Of course a genie soon appeared and said " I have
three wishes to grant so I will give each of you one wish."
The muslim said "I wish all muslims were ...
0 Comments, 91 Views,
10 Votes
,4.98 Score |
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perseverance!!!! 4/28/2016
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree.
After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the
air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After
recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped,
and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again
while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad
efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her ...
2 Comments, 92 Views,
13 Votes
,4.65 Score |
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Wedding Gifts 4/28/2016
The wedding date was set and the groom's three pals,
a carpenter, an electrician and a dentist, were deciding
what pranks to play on the couple on their wedding night.
The carpenter figured sawing the slats of their bed would
give them a chuckle or two. The electrician decided to wire
the bed, with alternating current of course. The dentist
wouldn't commit himself, but wore a sly grin ...
0 Comments, 85 Views,
10 Votes
,4.18 Score |
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Pink Shutters 4/26/2016
A man walks into a well known brothel, and asks the madam
for the biggest, blackest girl they have.. Well, sure enough , upstairs, first door on the left. He
goes up and opens the door, and there is Big Bertha, 460 lbs,
if she is a hundred. She is laying on the bed , naked, giving him a real big smile.
Her legs all spread wide. Her huge pussy lips hanging way
down. He looks around for a ...
1 Comments, 101 Views,
11 Votes
,4.10 Score |